ADEQUATE.com's South Park: FAQ Yes, we know this guide is outdated. It will be updated someday. This FAQ is only available here at: http://www.adequate.com/SouthPark/ This is the first and original South Park FAQ on the Internet! It was created on August 18, 1997 by Patrick Delahanty. For you trivia nuts, Patrick is also the creator of the "CHiPs" FAQ and Episode Guide as well as the first ever MST3K FAQ back in 1991. What is South Park? South Park is the story of four doe-eyed young boys growing up in the small Colorado town of South Park. The show is a cartoon which appears to be made with construction paper cut-outs (although it's actually done with computers now). You have to see it to believe it...and once you do, you'll either be hooked or want it banned. South Park is rated TV-MA/L. It contains adult language, animated violence, and suggestive material. When is it on? Welcome to the wonderful world of Comedy Central scheduling. The best time to find it is probably 10pm (ET/PT) on Wednesday. As Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans realized during the seven years that the show was on the channel, Comedy Central is notorious for last-minute schedule changes. Is South Park cancelled? I heard it was. You heard wrong. South Park is the highest rated show in the history of Comedy Central. The network programmers are stupid...but not THAT stupid. (...and the events in episode 106 are fictional.) A South Park movie and a Nintendo 64 game are in the works, but no other details are available at this time. Where can I find an episode guide? It's available right here at: http://www.adequate.com/SouthPark/Guide/ What is "The Spirit of Christmas"? In 1995, filmmakers Trey Parker and Matt Stone were hired by a Fox executive to make a video to send as a Christmas card. They were given $2000 to develop it. $750 and lots of construction paper later, they were finished. The video was sent out before Christmas to 80 people. By February, they were hearing about it through friends of friends. It wasn't long before a friend in Ohio sent them a copy saying, "You've got to see this." It was this 5-minute video which prompted Comedy Central to offer a weekly series to the pair. How can I get my grubby little hands on "The Spirit of Christmas"? It's all over the Internet. Get off your lazy ass and look. As for actual VHS copies of The Spirit of Christmas, someone was selling some for a nominal fee from his web site, but Comedy Central sent him a "Cease and Desist" order and forced him to stop. If you don't have a copy already, it's unlikely you will be able to find one now that Comedy Central is cracking down. Where can I get videos of South Park episodes? Right here! Videos on VHS and DVD are available through our online store. Who sings the theme to South Park? Les Claypool from Primus sings both the fast and slow versions of the theme. What are the lyrics? Here are the lyrics to the fast version of the theme: Les: I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time. Stan & Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere. Humble folks without temptation. Les: Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind. Cartman: Ample parking day or night. People spouting 'Howdy neighbor!' Les: Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind. Kenny: [mumbled] I like girls with big vaginas. I like girls with big, fat titties. Les: So come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine. Here are the lyrics to the slow version of the theme: Les: I'm goin' out to South Park, gonna have myself a time. Stan & Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere. Humble folks without temptation. Les: Goin' out to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind. Cartman: Ample parking day or night. People spouting 'Howdy neighbor!' Les: Headin' on out to South Park, see...see if I can't unwind. Kenny: [mumbled] I like girls with big vaginas. I like girls with big, fat titties. Les: So come on out to South Park and meet some friends of mine. According to Trey, Kenny's line was changed to the following in the third season: "I've got a 10 inch penis. Use your mouth if you want to clean it." Who are the main characters? Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. Tell me about Stan. His full name is Stanley Marsh. Stan's the star quarterback of the South Park Cows. He has a sister, Shelly, who wears headgear. Stan's father is the town geologist. Stan's grandfather is incredibly old and wants to die. He loves Wendy Testeburger and used to vomit when she talked to him. He has an uncle, Jimbo, who loves guns, owns the gunshop, and hangs out with his war buddy, Ned. Stan owns a gay dog named Sparky (played by George Clooney). Stan is voiced by Trey Parker. Tell me about Kyle. His full name is Kyle Broslofski. He's Jewish. Kyle enjoys playing "Kick the Baby" with his little brother, Ike. Both Kyle and Ike have been circumsized. His mother often ruins the boys' fun. He has a pet elephant. Kyle is voiced by Matt Stone. Tell me about Cartman. His full name is Eric Theodore Cartman. He's fat -- but he'll deny it and say he's "big boned". Normally he weighs about 90 pounds. He loves food. Ham, Salisbury steak, chocolate chicken pot pie, Happy Tarts, Snacky Cakes, and Cheesy Poofs...he loves them all. Cartman won a national essay contest when he cheated. His award was to be given to him by Kathie Lee Gifford. He got to be on Geraldo because he was so fat he couldn't leave the house. Cartman claims to have flashbacks to when he was in 'Nam. He has a pet pot-bellied pig and a kitty. His mother posed for Crack Whore Magazine. Cartman is voiced by Trey Parker. Tell me about Kenny. His full name is Kenny McCormick. Kenny is nearly impossible to understand because his hood covers his mouth. Kenny dies in almost every episode...sometimes more than once. His family is poor and his father drinks a lot. During the protest against Cartoon Central and Terrance & Phillip, Kenny's father was the first person to be thrown against the building. Kenny has a brother who has yet to be named. He's one dirty little bastard. An episode near the end of season 2 is rumored to reveal Kenny without his hood on. Kenny is mumbled by Matt Stone. Why does Kenny die? Why do we all die? What is Kenny saying? I can't understand him. If you can't figure out his line from the context of the situation, then it probably wasn't important and you're not missing anything. There are some web pages that claim to list Kenny's lines. Those lines are just speculation and according to Trey Parker, one of the show's masterminds, the listed lines are usually wrong. Please note that this FAQ only lists confirmed facts - not speculation. We will not guess at Kenny's lines. There's no need to send them. Who is Chef? As you may have guessed, he's the chef at the school cafeteria and is also the school's football coach. He sings a song in almost every episode. Chef is a UFO fanatic, ladies man, and loves (and has loved) Kathie Lee Gifford. Chef is voiced by Isaac Hayes. He wrote the theme to Shaft. (He did not play Shaft.) Who is Mr. Garrison? He teaches the boys at South Park Elementary with the help of his puppet, Mr. Hat. Mr. Garrison was in a talent show with Kathie Lee Gifford and grew up bitter that she beat him...she had two puppets. Recently, he was put in a mental hospital after attempting to kill Kathie Lee Gifford. Mr. Garrison is not gay (although he says Mr. Hat can be)...he just acts that way to get chicks. Mr. Garrison is voiced by Trey Parker. Where can I find South Park on the Internet? Major Web Sites: ADEQUATE.com (FAQ, Guide) Comedy Central Yahoo!'s South Park site list (Due to the large number of sites, we cannot list any others. We can't possibly keep up with the rate at which they appear and disappear. Please don't bother sending us a request to add your link. If you want it listed then we suggest you submit your site to Yahoo! instead. We will continue to link to Yahoo!.) Newsgroups: alt.tv.southpark Where can I buy Cheesy Poofs? These were not real products...until recently. Comedy Central has started to license out the "Cheesy Poofs" brand. You can find (full) boxes of the cheesy treat at places like Spencer Gifts. Can you send me a copy of my favorite South Park episode or "The Spirit of Christmas"? I REALLY need it! We don't have the time or resources to make copies, however you can buy some videos on VHS and DVD through our online store. When are you gonna put more sounds or pictures on your web site? You've completely missed the point of this web site. There are plenty of other sites which provide these for you. We would much rather focus on factual information. However, we do provide some pictures, sounds, and movies for informational purposes. Why can't I link my web site to your images or movies? We don't have the bandwidth to act as a file server for every South Park site on the web. We have taken steps to help insure that only people visiting our web site can download our movies and images. You will not be able to link to our images, sounds, and movies from your web site! You are welcome to download copies and upload them to your web site or download them and view them on your computer...you just can't link to our copies from any other web site. However, you are welcome to link to our web site from yours! http://www.adequate.com/SouthPark/ Can I copy your FAQ or episode guide and put them on my site? I'll link back to you and give you credit. No. Now we've probably gone and made you mad, but at least hear us out... We have worked long and hard to provide a resource for factual and up-to-date South Park information. If this site was copied to a dozen other sites, the traffic would be split among them all. If you want more traffic on your site, we suggest you offer original content such as a message area, chat room, or something nobody has even thought of yet. The web would be a mighty boring place if EVERY site looked the same. By simply linking to our site instead of copying it, you insure that the information is up-to-date...and you don't even have to do the updating! Ok, now the ADEQUATE.com legal department is making us put this in. This may seem harsh, but they take their jobs seriously and we suggest you don't make them mad. They actually surf around to other sites from time to time and contact the service providers of people who are violating our copyright. [Legal Notice: This site is copyrighted by ADEQUATE.com. Any unauthorized use of content from this web site is a violation of law.] 002 - Spirit of Christmas Is that Wendy Testeburger on Santa's lap? Yes. Who are those other kids? We don't know. Relax. Is that that Santa twirling Jesus in South Park's opening theme? Yes. It's painfully obvious and you can't miss it. Also, look for other appearances of Jesus as well as Brian Boitano. 101 - Cartman Gets An Anal Probe What was that song Cartman and Barbrady sang? The song "I Love To Singa" is from the 1930's Warner Bros. cartoon of the same name. It features a musical family of owls. One of the kid owls sings the song at a radio contest and wins first prize. What's the kitty joke? There were two. The second one was obvious, but many people missed the first one: Kyle: "Maybe you can kiss her!" Cartman: "...or slip her the tongue." Kenny: "Mm mmmm mm mm mmm mmm!" Stan: "What? How do you know she has a cat?" Cartman: "Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!" Mom: "Well then I know a kitty kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight." What does Kyle say that they censored? If you're really beating yourself on the head over this one, you've completely missed the joke. It's not so much WHAT he says as much as how he says it. The fact that he's nice and kind one second and then swearing left and right the next is intended to be funny. What scenes were cut from this episode? Two other characters were introduced: Pip and a bully. The Bully wore a t-shirt with a picture of himself on it and gave Cartman three flaming hot burritos which gave him the fire farts. (This was changed to be another symptom of the anal probe.) The little boy who gets caught on fire by Cartman's ass and runs around the classroom is named Pip. Every scene he was in got cut. Pip (a referance to Great Expectations) is an accident-prone British kid. In a scene that got axed, the boys are at recess trying to figure out how to save Ike when Pip, falls off the slide and starts bleeding profusely from an open head wound. No one believes he's hurt and could care less. 110 - Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo Why doesn't Kenny die? Who told you he has to die in every episode?