Oh my God, they killed Timmy! You bastards!
   -Kyle W.

Gesundheit.
   -Tim L.

Even on tough spills Bounty is the Quicker Picker-Upper!
   -Tim L.

Apparently the latest version of Microsoft Windows contained a bigger bug than anyone had ever imagined.
   -Tim L.

Player was killed by a Grunt.
   -Quake

If only he had been wearing his selt belt.
   -Tim L.

Another victim of teen smoking.
   -Tim L.

See what happens when you run with scissors?
   -Tim L.

Dear Mom, These new shoes you sent me really suck!
   -Tim L.

Tim forgot to put on the Flubber first.
   -F. P. Muckley

One Slain in Spice Girls Rampage
   -The Boston Globe

"I won't rest until I find the real killer."
   -O. J. Simpson

Subsequent legislation made all types of floors illegal in 37 states.
   -Tim L.

"Notice he does not so much fly, as plummet..."
   -- Monty Python (Nick C.)

The community college theater production of "Vertigo" turned tragic today...
   -Michelle

Needless to say, Tim's pick-up-lines were never very good.
   -F. P. Muckley

Never ask a woman her age.
   -Tim L.

Cheerleading in Kanji: "Give me a Shi-an..."
   -JG

"His jumping front kick had good form, but the landing...."
   -Paul C.

Class, do you see now how important transporter coordinates can be?
   -Wren

If he had any more to eat he could've hurt himself worse.
   -Luke

his boss told him it would be safer if he took the steps
   -crowservo

"I told him not to slide down the rail."
   -Tom Servo

My first time ice-skating.
   -Heath

White Man's Breakdance.
   -Missy

Gymnastics Club Petitions Budget Committee for Vaulting Horse
   -KM

That's going to leave a mark.
   -Amy Sherman

When architects use blueprints by Escher.
   -Amy Sherman

Okay, now try it WITH the bungee cord.
   -Amy Sherman

When a 'Fear Factor' stunt goes bad...
   -Jim Andrew

"Why do I always land on my keys?!"
   -§uccubus

That's a strange looking snow angel Tim.
   -ty in mad

Ironically, this was the last shot found in the camera.
   -Renfield

Looks like someone needs extra-strength Tylenol.
   -Alliemon

I can't stand taking him to parties with me. HE ALWAYS has to be the center of attention.
   -Danielle

Let's stick to our story. He was like that when we got here right? RIGHT?
   -Celeste

Don't you wish everything was made Rubbermaid?
   -crisssy101

"That's great, now hold that pose Tim.... Tim?.... Timmy?.... Hey man, this isn't funny"
   -Yasha

Splat! Hey, that's onomatopoeia.
   -David Kincannon

Humans weep, crows rejoice.
   -CreamOfWheat

His balance was so bad he even had to hold on to the floor
   -Paul

A test subject in our Frictionless Shoes expiriment...we are still working out the bugs...
   -Carl